Am I a Bad Mother, or Was It Just a Hard Moment?

I'm not sure if it's the heat waves or just the busyness of summer, but over the past few weeks, I've been struggling with my patience and mood—especially as a mom.

A friend recently reminded me that, in summer, we often put a lot of pressure on ourselves as parents. Summer is portrayed as this magical season—full of fun, excitement, and nonstop energy. We feel the urge to create core childhood memories that will last a lifetime.

But that self-imposed pressure, layered on top of the usual demands of life, work, and parenting, has left me feeling overwhelmed, impatient, and low.

I’ve been slipping back into an old thought pattern—where instead of simply noticing my feelings as they come up, I start identifying with them. Lately, the overwhelm, impatience, and low mood have made me feel like I’m a bad mom. 

I was listening to The Mindset Mentor podcast when something really clicked. Rob Dial asked the question: “Are you a bad parent, or was it just a hard moment?” It was exactly the moment of clarity I needed.

Lately, I’d been feeling like Sloane and I were going through a tough season. But was it really a difficult season—or just a few hard moments? And where were those hard moments coming from? Mostly, from the unrealistic expectations and added pressure I was placing on myself.

Summer is always my busiest season in real estate—especially this year. I’ve taken on more than ever, doing my best to stay ahead of my clients’ needs while also trying to craft those magical, picture-perfect childhood memories. Everywhere I look, social media is filled with glowing family photos and the same message repeated again and again: “You only get 18 summers—make them count!”

I didn’t realize how deeply I’d internalized that pressure. But who decided we only get 18? And why did I feel the need to wring every last ounce of joy and energy from each day, as if anything less would mean I was falling short?

Back in June, Sloane wrote out her “summer bucket list.” It had just two items on it: Hang out with Mom and Dad and go to the beach.

Sloane's Summer Bucket List

She wasn’t asking for much—so why was I?

I was starting to crack under the self-imposed pressure and it was showing up as overwhelm, impatience, and guilt that I wasn’t doing enough.

Rather than simply acknowledging the impatience and overwhelm I was feeling in the moment, I started to identify as an impatient and overwhelmed mother. Deep down, I know that’s not who I am—but once I began taking on those emotions as part of my identity, my behavior started to follow. I kept noticing more and more moments that seemed to confirm this “truth.”

I’ve been slipping back into the behavioral pattern of curation—trying to control and carefully shape every part of my life. But in all that effort to manage and perfect, I’ve been squeezing out the space for what actually lights me up. The things that fill my cup have been pushed aside, and I haven’t been prioritizing what truly nourishes me.

As I reflect on the past few weeks, I find myself asking: How can I move through and release those hard moments? And how can I create more space for the things that nourish my spirit and fill my cup?

When I find myself spiraling into control, curation, and emotional identification, I need to first settle my nervous system before I can return to a state of nourishment. Breathwork, Nature, Affirmations, and EFT Tapping are anchoring tools that bring me both back to the present moment but also indicate to my nervous system that I am safe.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or consumed by the busyness of life and summer, I invite you to pause and take a deep breath in and sigh out your exhale.  On your inhale whisper in your mind “I am here” and on your exhale “I release tension/worry/overwhelm/busyness” (or insert what any word you feel called to).

The healing journey is not about arriving somewhere but about noticing when you starting to be misaligned your true self and coming back to your true self. What are the practices that remind you or bring you back to your true self?

Here are the practices I return to when life feels heavy or chaotic. They help me regulate, reconnect, and stop spinning. I invite you to explore them—try one today and see what shifts.

With gratitude,

Nicki